Anxiety
by NeonDomino
Summary: Remus is anxious about meeting new people, but joins a gay social group to meet people like him. There, he meets Sirius Black.


**Written for: Magical Objects and Their Uses:**

Task: For this assignment, I would like you to write about a character who comes across as shy, or struggles to make friends. They may feel invisible within their society, because of their struggle to socialise with others

* * *

**Also thanks to Firefly for helping me come up with the idea :)**

* * *

Okay. He could do this. He could go to this event on the meetup website. He had seen the notifications pop up often enough.

It was about time he actually got off his arse and walked out of that door and got on the bus and... oh he felt faint at the thought.

All those people.

All talking and laughing and probably expecting him to say something interesting. Something smart or witty.

Either that, or he'd walk in and be ignored. It'd hurt, but he was used to it. Everyone ignored him anyway. Why would today be any different. Why would this place be any different?

He stared at the message on the screen.

_'Hey, I've seen you've been a member of our group for a while, but according to my notes, you've not come along to any of our group meetings or events._

_We are all hoping to meet you soon._

_Gideon Prewitt._

_South London Gay Social Group.'_

Okay. It wasn't far. He could just get a cab there and stay for half an hour. Then he'd come back here to curl up on the sofa with a book.

Maybe it was too cold to go out, he didn't want to get ill.

On that thought, he forced himself out of his chair and out of the room. He wasn't going to do this again. Every single week he had talked himself into staying inside. This time he had actually RSVPed the event.

He wasn't going to take up that place, just to not show up. He would be there.

...oOo...

He slipped in quietly, not wanting to draw attention to himself and headed straight to the bar. He needed a drink to settle his nerves.

He had almost turned back so many times. Why was it so hard for him to meet new people. He placed his old coat on a stand close to the door, making sure that his valuables were in the pockets of his worn jeans

As he waited for the drink to be served, he glanced around, taking in the outfits everyone else wore.

T-shirts and shirts. Not one cardigan in sight. He didn't even dress right. He pushed the panic down as best as he could, reaching for the drink that had been placed in front of him - did he really order a pint of beer? - and took a couple of large mouthfuls.

He'd stay as long as the drink lasted, he decided.

"Are you alright?" a man asked from next to him. Remus almost knocked the beer over as he turned. Maybe the man was speaking to someone else? He met grey-concerned eyes and realised that his first assumption had been right and the man was talking to him.

For some reason.

"You look a bit pale, nervous. Are you alright?" The man asked again, his voice soft, concerned.

"Yeah, I... I... I'm... the group... meetup..."

The man's eyes filled with understanding. "I'm Sirius, I help run the group. You don't need to feel nervous, are you newly out or..."

"Newly," Remus whispered.

"Well, congratulations on taking that step," the dark-haired man said with a smile. "I'm Sirius Black."

"Remus Lupin," Remus replied, shyly.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Remus. Are you staying long?"

"Just passing through," Remus said, his eyes darting to his drink. Sirius' eyes followed.

"Let me guess, don't get out much?"

"No... yes, I mean... what, why would you think that?"

"You're nervous, very shy and you're watching your drink and the door like you're ready to bolt. Either you're not comfortable around other gay men... which doesn't seem to be the case because you seem alright around me, or you don't like crowds or being out in them... or being out."

"I'm not used to..."

"It's okay, you'll get used to it. The first time is overwhelming, especially if you're recently out. Talk to me, forget about everyone else for a while. Tell me about yourself."

"I... I live local and go to college." There. That was something at least. His mouth felt dry.

"Cool. What do you take?"

"English."

"Cool. Let me tell you about myself, so you feel more comfortable with me. I'm Sirius, I've been out since I was fifteen. I actually started this group, though Gideon is better than me at running it. Gideon was my first boyfriend, we lasted two months." His gaze flicked over to a redhead at a nearby table, and Remus followed it.

" I work in Central, stupid officey crap with my friend James," Sirius continued. "I'm only doing it until I can start my own business. I like to come to these to meet new people. To me, it's not about hooking up - which some of the other groups are about - it's about finding people that understand you, and that you can talk a bit more freely to."

"I... I came out a couple of months ago," Remus said, quietly. "My girlfriend... let's just say that didn't end well, so my best friend, Lily. She forced me to go out with her and some girls... but the plan was a gay club and a guy was drunk and just randomly kissed me and it was a real eye opener."

Sirius waved for another drink for Remus. Well, there was no use protesting now. It was already being poured.

"So, do you feel a bit more relaxed? More confident? Do you want me to introduce you to the others?" He paused.

Remus glanced at the group, his panic starting to rise again as he noticed other's looking at him.

"Or we could sit down here and chat some more," Sirius suggested. "I just thought it was unfair of me to take all your attention."

"You can go and talk to someone else," Remus offered. "I don't mind just watching from here."

"Why would I want to do that?" Sirius asked, taking Remus' drink and leading him over to a small table nearby. "I know these people, but I want to get to know you. You're new to all this and it's hard to do it alone. I'd like to be your friend, if you'd let me."

Remus couldn't help the smile that crossed his lips at the words.

"Now, tell me more about yourself, Remus," Sirius insisted, eager to learn more.

Remus couldn't remember the last time someone said something like that to him. He was determined to have something interesting to tell Sirius about himself now. He wanted to impress this man who was spending his time at the table, rather than with his friends.

He was also aware that Sirius Black was a very attractive man.

...oOo...

Sirius' eyes flicked to the door when it opened and he saw a figure slip in, quickly making his way to the bar, only pausing to hang his coat up. Sirius stood up and followed. At first he hadn't thought this man part of their group, but there was something about him that made Sirius want to know more about him. As Sirius approached, he watched the man glance towards the group and down at his own clothes, worry etched on his face. His gaze darting to his drink.

Sirius had seen the signs before. He had seen his brother retreat and withdraw.

At least Remus was trying - and Sirius decided that he wanted to help. Forget about asking Remus out, he just wanted to focus on helping Remus, getting him to the meetings. Getting him used to company and friends.

"I'd like to be your friend, if you'd let me."

He watched Remus' face light up and his breath caught at the sight. He would do anything to be on the end of that smile again.

He could be a good friend, and he just knew that he'd one day be more.

* * *

**I'm touching on SAD - Social Anxiety Disorder. If you don't like how I've portrayed it, I'd be happy to discuss over PM with anyone.**

**Thank you for reading. Please leave a review.**


End file.
